Adoption myths that need to be disproved

Recently in a Bible study I was involved in a sweet lady was talking about adopting her child and a collection was being taken up for that church's adoption ministry to assist those seeking to adopt.  She spoke of how extremely expensive it was and how God had provided the money for them over a period of time.  I was happy for her and her family, but I was screaming inside!  You see, there is a common myth/misconception out there that it costs tens of thousands of dollars to adopt a child.  That is not always the case!

If you chose to go the private or international route, then it will absolutely cost you $25,000 or more.  However, if you chose to adopt through SC DSS it will cost you very little, if anything at all.  The only fees we are required to pay through DSS are attorney fees at the time of finalization.  After finalization, you qualify for a tax credit of $3,000 per child...that will pay for the attorney fees, or at least most of them, depending on how much your attorney charges.  Now obviously there will be other costs such as items needed to prepare your home, but you will have those cost whichever route you choose.  

In addition to your tax credit, many companies now have adoption assistance programs.  Many children in DSS care also qualify for a negotiable stipend to help offset care costs.  This is a monthly amount that you receive for each child until they are 18.  DSS children also qualify for Medicaid until they are 18, or 21 if they are in school.

Adoption will also cost you pieces of your heart.  You will give those to your child(ren) when you meet them.  It will cost you some sleepless nights, some tears, some frustration, some energy as well as some laughter, play time, and lots of smiles and hugs.  

The second myth/misconception is that the children in foster care are all too damaged to adopt.  This is SO not true.  There are some wonderful, caring, scared children in care through no fault of their own that want a family to call their own.  Someone to love them.  Someone to share life with.  Someone to visit on holidays when they are grown.  Someone to show them that they are worth the effort.  Someone to just allow them to be children.  While their are some severely hurt children in DSS care, they are not beyond repair.  It may take some hard work, some tough love, and some hard times...but they are worth it.  God created these precious ones and loves them.  We are all hurt and damaged in many ways, what makes them any different?  God found me worth loving and saving and I know I was pretty rotten.  If He can extend such grace, love and mercy to a wretched sinner like me, shouldn't I offer the same to my children?

I know that this road will take some patience, some consistency, some tears.  I also know that we will see our children change and grow before our eyes and we will be amazed at what God has done through us.  May we always give glory to Him.  We can do nothing in our own strength, only through His!  

I hope that you will pray with us.  Pray for all the children who are in our system waiting for homes.  Pray for adoptive families to have their hearts open to receive these children, love them, and work with them.  Pray the social workers who have the task of matching children with families...what a huge responsibility!  Pray for foster care and children's home workers that they will have strength, patience and rest as they care for children waiting for homes.  Lastly, I ask that you pray for Robert, Rob, James and I as we prepare to welcome children into our home, our family and our hearts.

My cup runneth over!  Blessings to you friends...thanks for stopping by.

Noel